When will it end?

It is 12:38. Micah and Asher have been asleep since right around 7:00. I have checked on them 4 times already. What is my problem? Why do I absolutely have to check their breathing this often during the night. I do this as a part of whatever else I might be doing. If I am watching a movie, I will pause it and make sure that I hear and see breathing. If I am already in bed and I need to pee, or get some water, I do it then as well. I do it if I wake up during the wee hours of the morning, it is incessant, and well, crazy. I have these horrible thoughts of what has gone wrong or what could go wrong and go racing in their room to save them, or find them dead. Luckily this has never been the case. Such madness has plagued me since Micah made his arrival way back in May of 2005. Now, I really thought that this was something that I would grow out of, or just not do so often especially when he started getting older. That has not been the case and it is actually worsened with Asher's arrival. Perhaps you can relate. When you first bring home your little baby you are completely paranoid and have the most random and crazy thoughts. Every time you don't hear them, you know they are dead. You check on them constantly, and wake up them up on accident trying to see/feel if their chest is rising (or maybe that is just me and I really have a problem). However, I haven't out grown it and it has become just a part of my nightly routine. The bigger question here is, will I continue to do this even when they are 15, 16, 17? I wish you all a good night. I am going to finish this and go to bed (brush my teeth, pee, and check on the boys).